Happy Valentine's day Family!
Sorry to throw you all off again, but the Church asked all mission president's to change their Preparation Days to Monday around the world to create unity and continuity throughout the Church. So, from here on out you will be recieving emails, etc. on mondays. Just to get to nitty gritty out of the way, I did indeed get my Rx from Medco and I did get your package from the whole family. The picture of Will kind of scared me because I can see how much he has changed in the last 7 months! He looks a little chubbier/muscular (euphemism) He looks like he will be a teenager in not too long. It really put in perspective to see that.
I enjoyed reading all of your little letters you sent. It was nice to hear from cousins and aunts and uncles! I miss you all at times, but I really know there is no where else in the world that is better to be. I am 100% a wittness to the fact that the mission is the hardest thing that anyone of my age can do. Weeks are long (but still somehow short?!?!) and challenging. I suffer disappointments and I get let down a lot by people. I see miracles and blessings. There is no other opportunity like this in the world.
The following weekend, both of the other companionships in my Ward will be having baptisms. We will not. I know it is just my pride getting in the way, but it is really hard to see so many others having success and baptisms while I feel like I am working so hard to little avail. I have always evaluated my success on numbers and percentages. I have always gotten upset when I do not meet goals. President Ellsworth spoke on how every companionship will baptize every month from here on out. I am 100% on board with that. I want that. I pray for that. I work HARD for that. But for some reason, with one more week left in this transfer, it is not looking like that is going to happen. I am praying so often. I am wiped out every night. It is just way hard. I am not losing hope. I am not losing faith. I just wish I could speak to God face to face to discover what I am doing wrong, or not doing right sometimes.
Elder Nerveza and I still are getting along great. We never argue, we have a lot of the same interests, etc. He is quite fond of deep doctrine, while I am not because it does not add anything to my testimony in large part. That is about all we differ in. The trouble he has is that he has 0% confidence in himself. I let him read my copy of "Beware of Pride" yesterday morning during personal study and during companionship study he expressed that he is not sure if he should be on a mission. He said that is how he felt when I read the talk. I am not a super supportive, wise kind of guy, so it is tough to counsel him. All I told him is that if it is really how he feels, he should talk to President. I hope he expresses some of his concerns to President in our letters today.
As for miracles (almost heart attacks)...our investigator, Reyna, got a job mid mast week. She was working 12+ hours a day and we never got to meet with her. I called her friday to see if she thought she was going to be able to come to church. She said, "I doubt it". I think right now she is our best progressing investigaotr with the fewest obstacles in order to get baptized. Once she decides to accept the date, she will be baptized. I am sure of that. But, with her telling us she could not come to church, I litterally broke down once I got back to the apartment. Instead of planning, I just went back to my bedroom and said a prayer, which was more a cry of desparation. I just pleaded and begged that someway, somehow Reyna would be able to make it to Church. All Saturday she sent me a text saying it was still a no. I was so sad that my prayer had not worked. I was devastated. Every prayer I said that day, even some in lessons, I prayed that she would be able to come to church. I really did not have much faith, but I knew that if I asked with all the faith I had, God's will would be done. Well, we kept on working all day. We did not have a ton of success. Elder Nerveza crashed on his bike and hurt his knee pretty good. We had a missionary coordination meeting that was more like 1.5 hours of our ward mission leader bearing testimony about baptisms for the dead. It was just a rough day. We went back to the apartment, prayed, planned, and then prayed again -- remembering Reyna in our prayers. When I was about to go to bed, 10:15 or so, we got a text from Reyna. "Lo Siento por decirles tan noche, pero voy a ir a la iglesia manana. Necesitaremos un ride! Gracias y buenas noches." (ride is spanglish, it is pronounced, RYE-TAY) After all of that stress, prayer, and worrying, my prayer was answered. Reyna and one of her daughters came to Church and stayed all three hours. Reyna loved Relief Society. Heavenly Father answers our prayers. I know it. For real.
Other than that, we found out two of our investigators will never be able to come to church because they are on house arrest!!!! So, we will visit them every once and a while, but there is not much we can do until those ankle bracelets are off.
It was just another hard week. I worked my tail off. My body hurts. I am tired, and I have had a continual headache, but I really don't care. I know that if I work as hard as I am right now for two years, I will have my successes. I will be able to say at the end of these two years, "I did my best Heavenly Father." I know that will be sufficient. It is that knowledge and thought that keeps me pressing forward when I have weeks like this last one. I am going to keep studying, praying, bearing testimony, and working hard. It is all I can do and put the rest in the Lord's hands. I am really be humbled right now, and I can't say that I love it. But, I know that God has some purpose behind it and I will understand these challenges in time. There are a lot of hardships, but there are also a lot of joys left over.
The Cruz family is doing great. They are starting temple classes and anthony is behaving better every week. If them being sealed was my only major even on my mission, I would be happy. That is one more family that can be together in Heaven.
I am really glad to have all of you back home supporting me. It was great getting some handwritten notes from you all. I am getting to that point in my mission when most missionaries just quit getting mail. I get emails from some people, but I cannot respond to them via email and I do not have their addresses.
I love you and I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day. Will and Maddy, leave mom and dad in peace to go out to dinner or something. Clean the house. Do something for them. This morning we went and cleaned up a member's yard so that he and his wife can eat dinner out back when she gets home tonight. Mowing that lawn felt good. It was not really a lawn though, mostly dust.
You are all in my toughts and prayers and I really appreciated your thoughfulness in sending me a package! I hope you all have lots of good Chocolate, too!
Con Amor y Oracion
Elder Jonathan Alma Pearson
Posted By Maddy
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