Shoulda used the down pillow...

Wow. Today has been one for the record books -- not necessarily a record worth celebrating either. I sweat the the waking up on the wrong side of the bed thing is for real. I normally wake up pretty much against the wall. Today I woke up hanging off of my bed as far from the wall as possible while still being on my bed. Coincidentally, today was probably the most lame day I have had since being home from college. So, whoever this colloquial excuse may come from is most certainly right to some degree.

While there is no need of elaborate detailing of the day's proceedings, let's just say that pretty much everything could have gone better. A few examples from today include: could have woken up on time, could have eaten breakfast, could have worn better shoes so my back would not be screaming after only 30 minutes of work, could have filled up on gas earlier so I could have not paid 2.99 for a gallon. The list simply continues on and on. I don't want to run the risk of darkening anyone's perfect day though...

So along with this I wish to tie in the subject of selflessness. It may be seemingly random, but I assure you that in my own head it makes perfect sense. Why do I wish to address this topic? Well, it is because frankly I see too much of it in the world every day. People cut me off on the freeway, people take for themselves what is most definitely someone else's. It just sickens me that so many people, including myself, are so fond of ourselves that we just ignore the others around us. I usually have such high hopes for mankind, but today, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Today I looked at life in a much different life than usual and oh my goodness had it been awful. I have seen pretty much everything in a much darker light. I much more easily found the bad out there than the good. Usually it is the other way around. To those of you who are pessimistic, I am so very sorry for you. If I lived every day like this I would be far more miserable than I am. My recommendation to the world? BE OPTIMISTIC and ALWAYS hope for the best. Today I have not done that for some reason and I hate life. I really wish I could express the cause of the verbally, but I that would only be selfish and ruin some other person's day.

I wish I had something bright and uplifting to say to the world via the blog, but I do not. Sad thing. Well, lemme give it a shot....

"Every so often we have a bad day in life. They come unexpectedly and cause upheaval and conflict. But, having a bad day every now and then only makes the really good days seem even better." -- Jonathan Pearson (we will see if it catches on...)

That is most definitely true. Saturday morning I plan on hiking Saddle Mtn. I invited friends to come along but I am planning on no one coming at the moment. I plan to hike up alone, at my own pace, surrounding myself with the world as God created it. I plan to make the short hike. Then, at the top, I plan on sitting or standing and taking it all in. I just hope there are not massive hoards of people up there early in the morning. I want to sit there and think. I want to sit there and be open to the whispers of the wind. As I sit atop a peak barely worthy of the title, Mountain, I hope to look across the land that I have called home for the last 19 year of my life. If weather is good, I can see from the coast through the gorge. Nearly every place of memory to me will be within view of my eyes. The moment will be my own.

I guess one may call it an early goodbye. I really am going to miss Oregon for two years. It has been an incredible place where I have learned about who I am. In Mesa, there will be very little chance of running across any reminder of home. No Doug Fir, no three weeks of straight rain. No Ocean. No rolling hills. No abundance of natural, untouched green. I want to climb to the tops of as many places as possible so that the immensity and beauty of home can be forever burned into my mind before I bid my farewell for two years. Shoot, I am gonna miss this place. A lot. For real.

Song of the Day -- "Solider On" by The Temper Trap (Pretty much sums up the mood of the moment)

Lyrics:

"who wants to know

all that is gold is rusting
no one will know
when seasons cease to change and…
how far we've gone
how far we're going
it's the here and the now
and the love for the sound
of the moments that keep us moving

waves crash along
the battered, lonely lighthouse
tomorrow she's gone
and if not, someday somehow
are these hands a waste
well this side of mortality is
scaring me to death
to death

don't think about it at all
just keep your head low
and don't think about it all

soldier on, soldier on
keep your heart close to the ground
soldier on, soldier on, keep your heart
close to the ground

don't think about it all
just keep your head low
don't think about it
at all

yeah, will you take me tonight
yeah, will you take me tonight
yeah, will you take me tonight
ooooh... tonight

soldier on
soldier on
keep your heart
close to the ground"

So, for now I am keeping my head low and trying to not think about it...(my bad day that is, not the mission. That is all I am thinking about for now.)

Afscheid!